Brotherly, Motherly, and Erotic Love

Brotherly love — love of all human beings — is for Fromm the most fundamental form, the basis from which all other forms grow. It is love of an equal: the sense of solidarity and responsibility toward all human beings that recognises our shared humanity and fragility. Without this foundation, erotic or parental love degenerates into possessiveness or symbiosis rather than genuine care for the other's growth.

Motherly love is unconditional: it does not need to be earned and cannot be lost by failure. The mother loves the child not because of what they accomplish but because they are. This unconditional quality is both the glory and the limitation of maternal love: its very unconditionality makes it incapable of fostering the child's independence. Mature love must transcend motherly love's exclusive bond while preserving its unconditional character.

Erotic love — the craving for complete fusion with one other person — is the form that modern culture privileges and most misunderstands. The initial experience of "falling in love" is an illusion of closeness that masks a deeper separateness; when the excitement fades, people mistake the decline of infatuation for the death of love. True erotic love requires that one be able to love all human beings, or it is merely a form of selfishness extended to include one other person.

Fromm also analyses self-love (arguing that the command to "love thy neighbour as thyself" presupposes self-love), love of God, and parental love in chapters 2 and 3 of The Art of Loving.